Perplex
Season: Spring (Year 2)
Prank Intersection One
(Location: Starmony Dorm (Ibara, Mitsuru, Midori, Tsumugi’s Room))
Rinne: “—That’s why you’ve all gotta see it! The top idol, Ibara Saegusa’s, adorable sleeping face will finally be revealed!
Now, let’s get a peek! A happy morning’s come, ‘venomous snake’-kun♪”
Rinne: “…… Wh- huh?”
Yuuta: “Is that a mannequin!? That’s not the Vice Prez at all, Rinne-senpai!”
Rinne: “OI OI OI, what the heck’s going on? You for real confirmed that Vice Prez was snoozin’ in his room, didn’t ya?”
Kuro: “Yeah. Actually, there’s been some strange noises for a while now.”
Yuuta: “Maybe…… The sound we heard was from the mannequin?
Eh, this……!?”
(Location: CosPro Office)
(We return to several days ago)
Ibara: —A variety show’s prank project?
I just looked into the program myself, and it certainly seems to be considerably well known amongst the general public.
If we could secure the right to appear on the show, it would be quite profitable for the agency.
Oh my, I truly am honored that Anzu-san has brought a project as wonderful as this to Cospro!
“I’ve brought it to other agencies as well, so you don’t need to say all that,” you say?
I understand that. It’s a prank project, so the more participants there are, the more variety there’ll be.
Idols, talents, comedians…… It’s not a niche that can only be occupied by idol agencies.
If CosPro can take some of the few slots available to idols, then there’s no reason not to take them.
If it’s a prank project, 2wink or Crazy:B would be suitable, and looking at their schedules……
Hm? What is it, Anzu-san? “You’re not going to be appearing?”, you say?
Obviously. Or rather, why did you think I would be appearing?
“Because pranks are covert operations” huh? Ahaha, I’m so glad you have that image of it too, Anzu-san♪
…… However, I regrettably dislike variety shows.
Adam is also not marketing itself on the variety path, so it doesn’t align with our branding.
Well, recently His excellency has been doing variety work of his own accord, but……
At the very least, I have no intention of going out of my way to appear on variety shows.
—It seemed like I had fun on Bogie Time? Well, that was a special case.
After all, if you’re going to make use of strategy, then it should be in a place where money and power are exchanged! There’s no need for me to take part in such an absurd farce, don’t you think?
In any case, I will contact you again once the cast has been decided, Anzu-san.
Now then, please excuse me so I may get back to work!
(Location: CosPro Conference area)
(Several hours later)
Yuuta: Thank you for your hard work. I was pretty surprised when the Vice Prez suddenly called me up.
And I was the only one who was called. It seems like there’s been no contact with Aniki……
Ibara: Hinata-kun is unable to make it due to scheduling conflicts, so I thought I would ask you to take on this project.
Yuuta: Project…… So you mean it’s alright to talk about work?
Ibara: Yes. Anzu-san abruptly approached me with a prank project job.
This is currently a very popular variety show. If you appear on it, you’ll certainly attract attention from the public.
It seems like you’ve been focusing on your solo activities lately, so isn’t this a wonderful fit?
Yuuta: Uwah, this show is broadcast during golden time(1) isn’t it!?
Are you really sure I can take this job?
Ibara: If it weren’t, I wouldn’t have called you. If you don’t want to, that’s fine, but……
Yuuta: Nono, in what world would I not take it? Actually, I’d even want to ask you to let me do it!
Anyway, it’s a prank project, huh~. As someone who loves pranking, I’m really excited about it♪
So, what kind of prank do they want me to do?
Ibara: According to the project proposal, the performers are free to decide what they’ll do to their heart’s content.
Yuuta: Free to decide? So you mean I can think up everything that’ll happen myself?
Ibara: Of course, there may be instances where it’s difficult to pull off due to budget constraints, but the general idea is that you may choose who to prank.
If you tell them the details, they’ll make all the preparations accordingly.
Yuuta: As expected from a popular golden time show! So generous~♪
If that happens, there’ll be so many things I can do. What should I do? My dreams are getting bigger before I know it……☆
Ibara: Please do your best to put everything together. The budget is theirs, so it’s not my place to stop that dream.
For the time being, I’ll contact the other party since you will also be appearing in the project.
Yuuta: Roger that. Please take care of me~!
TL NOTES:
- Golden Time; ゴールデンタイム : the Japanese term for television prime time. In the Japanese televesion context, it would be from 7pm to 10pm.
Prank Intersection Two
(Location: CosPro Conference Area)
(Several tens of minutes later)
Yuuta: (Hmmhmm…… I’ve read through the proposal again and again, and it really does seem like there aren’t any restrictions for the prank.
There’s a lot of budget too, so it seems it won’t be a problem unless we do something overly elaborate.
How should I put it, it’s really generous for just a prank. I guess they’re all kinds of loaded since it’s a show during Golden Time.)
Yuuta: (Weell, let’s leave that aside for now….. The important thing is that I’m doing this alone.
When we’re talking about our pranks, our go-to is twin-swapping; generally, Aniki would be doing it with me most of the time.
But, this time around, this is a job given to me alone. I can let “Aoi Yuuta” out without any reservations.)
Fufu. I wonder what I’ll do~♪
Since we’re talking about me, it has to be super spicy food, so I’ll start by digging a trap and pouring Habanero powder in—
Rinne: —Habanero powder you say, are you eating something super spicy again, Yuta?
Yuuta: (Uugh, Rinne-senpai!? Why is this guy always like this during important moments!)
Rinne: Don’t eat too much spicy food y’hear. That kinda food has a high salt content, right? Cause’ it seems if you consume too much salt, you’ll get high blood pressure.
Yuta’s already prone to anger without doing anything, and if you’re not careful, you might burst a vein y’know? Gyahaha!
Yuuta: (Anyway, ignore him ignore him. As usual, once you react, you lose.)
Rinne: Oioi, how cold of you to ignore meee. I’m saying all of this because I’m worried about Yuta’s health, you knoow?
There’s even talk about stress being the reason people feel like wanting to eat spicy stuff. If Yuta were to collapse in a heap, as a reliable senpai, I’d be sad too.
Yuuta: (Who are you to say that! If I were to collapse in a heap right now, the source of my stress would be you!
—I’ve decided. Let’s make the target of the prank this time be Rinne-Senpai!
I’ll put all the resentment I’ve piled up into this, so prepare yourself~!)
Rinne: Actually, what’ve you been so engrossed in reading, Yuta? Looks like a proposal for something…….
Yuuta: Wa!? Wait, don’t peep inside! It’ll be a breach of information if you do that!
Rinne: Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’ve got a reputation for being tight-lipped, right?
Yuuta: Isn’t there no one else who’s as untrustworthy as you!?
Rinne: Hm? Could it be that this proposal is a prank project entrusted by the Vice Prez Glasses-kun?
Yuuta: Ah, I’ve already been found out!?
My perfect plan to make Rinne-senpai’s face a soppy mess of tears and dripping snot……
Rinne: Whaat, so Yuta was trying to set me up in a prank?
If that’s the case, too bad. It’s 10 years too early for you to set a prank on me, gyahahaha♪
Yuuta: I mean, just now Rinne-senpai said that this prank project was “entrusted by the Vice Prez” didn’t you?
Rinne: Well, when you think of pranks, you think of me. When you think of me, I’m like the Heaven-sent child(1) of pranks ♪ When there’s a prank project, it’s only natural that I’ll be called for it.
Yuuta: No no, that job was entrusted to me by the Vice Prez. How did the same information reach you, Rinne-senpai?
…… It couldn’t be, you’re not stealing the job are you?
Rinne: What do you think I am, Yuta. Do you think I’m the kinda guy who would do something so underhanded?
Yuuta: Please put your hand on your chest and reflect on your behaviour up till now.
Rinne: You’ve got no trust in me, huuh. Well, I won’t steal your work, but I might steal your cuts.(2)
Yuuta: ……What do you mean by cuts?
Rinne: The most important part for pranks is whether or not you can get a sizeable proportion of footage that can be used for the final cut, you see? In which case, the fastest way is to shoot a lot.
By planning a bunch of projects, the program will focus the makeup of the program based on the footage available for the final cut from there.
Of course, boring pranks are mostly cut by the program. They’ll be well digested, and, in the worst case, they’ll be shelved.
That’s what I mean, you can’t deny that there’s a possibility that I’ll steal Yuta’s cuts.
Yuuta: …… That means, Rinne-senpai is doing the same project!?
Rinne: Gyahaha! Did you get seized with the fear of me stealing away your cuts, Yuta?
If you’re that scared, wanna partner up with me to plan it out? In that case, the need for me to rob you of your cuts would be gone, y’know?
Yuuta: I generally don’t want to.
Rinne: I’m left utterly helpless by the curt refusal, huh. Rinne-kun’s been hurt by those inconsiderate words.
Yuuta: You’re the one who has been saying inconsiderate things……
I’ve said this before, I don’t know what you’ll be demanding of me if I take your offers too easily.
But you see, after all, I can’t see any future where things will go well if we work together.
When I think over the risks, I’ve decided that doing it by myself is more certain.
Rinne: Is that so. Well, when ya change your mind, you can always call for me.
Yuuta: That won’t be happening, so please do your best on your own, Rinne-senpai——
Rinne: Oi, where are you going, Yuta?
Yuuta: You’re being a nuisance and I can’t think of the details of the prank properly here.
Now then, thank you for your hard work. Please don’t follow me, Senpai.
Rinne: When I’m told to not follow, the more I want to follow—— Eh, he’s already gone!?
He’s too good at running. So I’m being hated…….
Well, it’s fine. My interest’s kinda peakin’ at what Yuta will do by himself.
TL NOTES:
- He calls himself 申し子 (MoushiGo) which is a child that is sent by the Heavens in an answer to a prayer.
- The ‘cuts’ here are 尺 (Shaku), which in this context is short for 尺拍子 (shakubyoushi) which is a clapper board. Shaku can also be a ruler or an ancient measurement unit.
Prank Intersection Three
(Location: Starmony Dorm (Kaoru, Yuta, Nagisa’s Room))
(Several hours later)
Yuuta: Hmm~mm……
(I usually can decide on a prank with just a little bit of thinking, but this time I can’t settle on what would be good to do……
I can quickly think of easy things to do, but something ordinary would get buried huh……
It’s a rare chance. I don’t want to be shelved, just like Rinne-senpai said!)
But to do that, what should I do……. Haah.
Nagisa: …… What are you worrying about?
Yuuta: Uwah!? Ran-senpai, did you just get back?
Kaoru: Ahaha, we’ve been back for a while. Incidentally, me and Ran-kun just came back at the same time…….
Yuuta: S-Sorry. I didn’t even greet you two Senpai…….
Kaoru: We don’t mind, so it’s alright. You looked like you were pretty troubled.
Nagisa: ……… If you’re troubled over something, you can ask us for advice, you know?
Yuuta: Hmmm. Well, if it’s you guys then it’s alright, isn’t it? The truth is—
Nagisa: …… The filming of a prank, huh. Yuuta-kun is troubled over the details, I see.
Kaoru: Heeeh, so Yuuta-kun is going to appear in that program. The truth is, I’m planned to make an appearance too.
Yuuta: Eh, are you planning a prank too, Hakaze-senpai?
Kaoru: Ah, no no. If anything, I’m part of the ones watching the pranks being recorded from the studio. My position might be much closer to a commentator.
Anyway, I’m not your rival, Yuuta-kun, so you can relax.
Nagisa: …… I also wanted to try pulling a prank. Everyone else is being cast in it, so letting me do it too should be okay.
Yuuta: Isn’t that because Eden doesn’t want to take the variety route too much?
Just the other day, Aniki got a good scolding because he let Ran-senpai join [2x2 (Squared)], after all.
Nagisa: …… You could say that. It feels like it’d be better for me to be obedient for a while as well.
Kaoru: Ahaha, it’s pretty rare to see Ran-kun with such a dejected expression.
But, what sort of prank would be good, you ask? It surely is pretty difficult to shoot something interesting.
Yuuta: That’s right. I thought a prank would be something easy because it’s something I’ve done lots of times before……
But now that I’m thinking about it, I started thinking ‘is it really interesting?’ and doubting myself……
Kaoru: I see. That being said, I’m not well-informed about pranks either.
Nagisa: …… Who would you want to prank, Yuuta?
Kaoru: Ah, that might be a good way to think about it. Why not match the details of the prank to who you’re pranking?
Yuuta: Um, the truth is I haven’t decided on who it’ll be yet……
At first I meant to set up a prank on Rinne-senpai, but it seems that Rinne-senpai’s joining the program as one of the pranksters like I am.
Besides, he saw my plans, so it’s a bit iffy to follow through with it.
Seriously, if it wasn’t for that, I’d be the first to set up a prank!
Kaoru: Ahaha, I can feel somewhat of a personal grudge in your manner of speaking~?
Nagisa: …… Don’t you have any other prospective targets?
Yuuta: If I were to think about other people, it’ll be someone like Shinobu-kun. Also, I did think that Ogami-senpai seems like someone that’ll be easy to set up a prank for.
Kaoru: Either Shinobu-kun or Koga-kun, huh……
Yuuta: …… You’ve got a somewhat doubtful expression on your face, Hakaze-senpai. Is there some sort of problem with those two?
Kaoru: No it’s not so much as a problem. I was ju~st thinking that when you post about a big successful practical joke on the SNS, it will generally be those two displayed in the pictures.
Nagisa: ……It seems to lack an element of surprise, huh.
Kaoru: That’s right. I think what’s more important in a prank isn’t the set up itself, but the element of surprise and the reaction of the person being pranked.
Yuuta: …… That’s true. People with loud reactions are funnier, and there might be more of an element of surprise with people who are not used to pranks.
Kaoru: Right? If we follow that perspective, the two people you just brought up might lack the element of surprise in terms of people Yuuta-kun would choose.
Yuuta: In that case, I wonder who would be good?
Nagisa: …… How about Ibara?
Yuuta: Eh!? Pulling a prank on the Vice Prez…… Is that really alright?
Nagisa: …… Don’t worry about it. As Eden’s leader, I’ll permit it.
Yuuta: Eh~, I feel like he’ll get mad after……
Nagisa: …… Fufu. If anything were to happen, you can say that I gave you the order to do it.
…… Eden is a unit that doesn’t appear in variety shows often. Ibara in particular seems to consciously avoid appearing in them.
…… It might be because he has an aversion to it, but if that’s the case, Ibara’s own “range” as an idol won’t expand.
Yuuta: I-I see…… But, the Vice Prez might actually be the right choice.
Kaoru: I think he is the right one too. Saegusa-kun is the kind of kid who doesn’t show off much of his private life, so the element of surprise should be there.
Yuuta: Fufu. Thank you very much for giving me advice, you two.
Now that I’ve decided on that, I gotta think about the details of the prank♪
(Location: CosPro Office)
(The next day)
Ibara: …… What? You’d like me to join Cafe Cinnamon’s tasting party?
………
Ah, no. It’s something that made Anzu-san come to CosPro in a hurry, so I was simply on guard.
However, it wasn’t a major incident as I had thought, so it could be said to be a bit of a disappointment……
No. It’s not good to make a decision before hearing about the details, right? May I have the proposal?
Thank you very much. I’ll be taking a look at it.
(…… Hm. It seems to be a collaboration project between the four major agencies, planned by Cafe Cinnamon.
The plan seems to be that idols would be sampling the depiction of each agency as a drink, and then they will be answering something like an interview…… )
I’ve got the gist of it. There is no problem in accepting it, but I am wondering about one thing.
The other side named me personally, but can it not be a different idol? If it’s a tasting, there are lots of other suitable people such as Shiina-shi…….
…… I see. Anzu-san would like me to make an appearance, if it’s possible.
(…… How curious. This matter is so sloppy that it’s unthinkable that Anzu-san would be in charge of it.
A tasting party is an extreme example, but anyone should be fine doing this job. I wonder what the reason for her going out of her way to offer this job to me even then?
There must be a reason Anzu-san made this offer to me. However, I could not see the reason.
Furthermore, Anzu-san’s odd evasiveness. It even feels like she’s being reserved with me somehow…….)
—Ah, I see. So it’s that kind of thing, isn’t it?
No, it’s nothing. That’s right…… Alright. I will accept what we just discussed.
Yes, it’s not a problem. I will adjust my schedule myself.
(…… Presently, Anzu-san has a look on her face that says that she did not expect me to take on this job.
If she wanted to deceive me, she would not be making that face. Oh well, Anzu-san’s role should be nothing more than a mediator.
This time is special, though. I must once again discipline a co-worker(1) who’s made the mistake of biting the wrong person.
Please be grateful. I’ll personally make you understand just how frightening the educating venom of a “venomous snake” is……♪ )
TL NOTES:
- 身内 (Miuchi): relatives from one’s family, friends or people from the same organisation. It might also be ‘follower’, if that’s more to your liking.
Prank Intersection Four
(Location: Cafe Cinnamon)
Ibara: Hello hello everyone, it looks like everyone’s all together!
Shinobu: Good day, Saegusa-dono. I look forward to working with you today.
Arashi: Fufu, I’m counting on you today. Isn’t this a somewhat strange combination of four people?
Kuro: Yeah, feels like there isn’t much of a sense of unity. Well, it’s just a tasting party, so I guess it’s just about gathering guys with free time(1)?
Ibara: I cannot allow that free time part to pass without comment. Time is money. I do not have so much free time(1) that I don’t know what to do with.
Kuro: Oops, my bad. Maybe I shouldn’t have said ‘free time’ (1) like that. Cause this is also part of the job, right.
Ibara: Yes, exactly. After all, we would not be able to sell things that will lay damage to the image of the agencies.
Arashi: Tee-hee, isn’t it fun to see what sort of drinks will be coming? You feel the same, don’t you Shinobu-chan?
Shinobu: Y-yes, that’s right! I’m curious too!
(……Pull yourself together, Shinobu Sengoku! As a splendid ninja, you have to lead Yuuta-kun’s prank to success.)
Ibara: ………
(Location: Meeting Room)
Yuuta: “Oof~, I wonder if Shinobu-kun’s okay. He kinda looks like he’s a little nervous.
Oops, filming’s already started? I’m the one who prepared this prank, Aoi Yuuta~♪
The truth is, this drinks tasting party……. Is a fake project that I prepared for the sake of the prank.
I got an anonymous tip that Crazy:B’s Shiina-senpai is planning on creating drinks based on the images of the agencies.
I took advantage of that opportunity!
I’m very grateful to the manager of Cafe Cinnamon for their cooperation! Thank you very mu~ch!
Now then, without further ado, I’ll talk about contents of this prank to all the viewers~
The target this time is the Vice President of CosPro—— iii~t’s Ibara Saegusa-senpai!
Cafe Cinnamon is currently in the middle of producing drinks, but the truth is, the one for the StarPro agency is the only one that is my special super spicy drink.
It’s a super spicy drink that might even make someone who is fond of spicy food like me let out fire from the mouth, so if the Vice Prez were to drink it, it would be no less than a disaster…….
Of course the only person who doesn’t know about this is the Vice Prez. I’ve got the rest of them, Shinobu-kun, Kiryuu-senpai and Narukami-senpai in on the plan.
The truth is I wanted to give Vice Prez the drink, but they can only fit in one idol from each agency, so I reluctantly became someone who works behind the scenes.
O~r something like that. Let’s put aside the behind the scenes circumstances. I’ll have Shinobu-kun and the rest take action so that Vice Prez would be drinking the super spicy StarPro drink.
When the Vice Prez drinks that super spicy drink and faints in agony, I’ll appear from a different room that I was standing by in, and reveal the prank☆
Well well, just what sort of interesting reaction would Vice Prez Saegusa give us? Please stay tuned, everyone!
Now then, let’s take another look at the filming location with me. Let’s see what’s going on…….”
(Location: Cafe Cinnamon)
Niki: Sorry to have kept you waiting~ I’ve got your special drinks based on your agencies~
Arashi: Oh dear, aren’t they pretty stylish♪ I wonder which one is the drink based on NewDi?
Niki: That’ll be this one. This time, I tried making the drinks after asking idols from each agency.
Kuro: Is RythLin this one? The colouring’s the most subdued, and it feels like it gives off the most mature impression……
Niki: You’re spot on, Kiryu-kun. Wow~ I’m so glad you can get that~♪
Ibara: Hm. I see. So by process of elimination, CosPro would be this one. If we were to ask which one the drink with a flashy and lively impression is, it would be StarPro’s image.
Shinobu: Ahaha. The colours makes you feel energetic just by looking at it, it looks delicious♪
(…… Fuu, that’s a relief. It doesn’t seem like Saegusa-dono suspects anything. )
Niki: Now then, take your time, everyone~
Arashi: Thanks for going out of your way, Shiina-senpai.
StarPro’s and CosPro’s drinks look delicious too. Please let me drink some too later.
Ibara: Yes, of course that wouldn’t be a problem. I must closely examine the other agencies’ flavours, otherwise I would not be able to convey the goodness of CosPro’s drink.
Kuro: Alright, let’s get to drinking them.
Shinobu: Ah, please wait!
Kuro: What is it, Sengoku? Do you not have a straw?
Shinobu: No, that’s not it. Since we’re doing it, why don’t we exchange each of our drinks and drink those first?
Ibara: Why on earth would we? Wouldn’t it be better to check the flavours of your own agency first?
Kuro: Yeah. Normally you’d start drinking from your own office’s, right?
Shinobu: (Eh, why are you not taking my side, Kiryu-dono!? This is not according to the plan!)
Arashi: I don’t mind. See, when you drink your own agency’s drink first, it makes you want to say that it’s the best tasting one.
To eliminate that sort of preconceived notions, I think it might be better to start by commenting on the other agencies’ flavours.
Shinobu: Y-yes, that’s right! I think so too, that’s why I made the suggestion.
Kuro: I see. Well, either way is fine with me. I don’t think it makes a real difference whether you drink ‘em before or after.
Shinobu: (Alright, I’ve got a good feeling about this! This way, Saegusa-dono will drink the StarPro drink……)
Ibara: No, I’m against it. I think it’s better to start drinking from your own agency’s.
Shinobu: …… Eh?
Ibara: After tasting all of the drinks, once we’ve drank our own agency’s drink once again to comment on it, I think we’d be able to come up with a more precise review.
Arashi: U~mm, that’s true. After trying all the flavours, you might notice it’s appeal once again.
Ibara: Also, in the unlikely event that CosPro’s drink has some sort of inadequacy to it, I’d like to avoid the first person from another agency to drink it from becoming a victim.
I believe that it is better to ask for your comments once I’ve confirmed that it is delicious, how about it?
Arashi: That’s true. If NewDi’s drink isn’t good, it’s not something I’d want to recommend to everyone else.
Kuro: Well, it’s a prototype, so there’s a real chance it might be gross. I guess this means tasting it is (2) kind of necessary.
Shinobu: (Why, Narukami-dono, Kiryu-dono!
If the two of them drink their respective agencies’ drinks, then I would have no choice but to drink the super spicy StarPro drink…….)
Ibara: Oh? Sengoku-shi, is there something wrong? It seems you haven’t even drunk a single sip yet…….
We do have to make time to answer questions for the interview, so I can’t let you take that much time.
Shinobu: Y-You’ve got it! Now that it’s come to this point, I just have to drink it
(I guess I have no choice but to prepare myself. This is the end of the path(3) for a ninja who has failed his mission.)
Th-Then…… Shinobu Sengoku will go o~n ahead!
Mmph……nom nom.
Ack……!?
Arashi: Shinobu-chan!? Wait, what’s wrong? Stay strong!
Kuro: Oi, his eyes are rolling back! Are you okay, Sengoku, is this drink what’s causing this?
Ibara: …… So it was a trap after all.
Kuro: Huh? A trap, you say?
Ibara: Don’t you think it’s about time you revealed yourself, Yuuta-kun. You’re watching us from somewhere, aren’t you?
Yuuta: ……I-I’ve come since you called, sur-sur-sur-surpri~se♪
Just kidding. A, ahaha……
Arashi: Yuuta-chan!? No, more importantly, that sign you have over there……
Kuro: The prank was a huge success……? Then that means, the reason Sengoku is unconscious……
Yuuta: It’s not like that! I wasn’t meaning to prank Shinobu-kun……
Ibara: I was the target wasn’t I? However, on the contrary, I took advantage of the trap and made it my own.
Ibara: Right now, it would be more fitting for me to hold onto that sign. Shall I say “The reverse prank was a huge success!” to you, Yuuta-kun.
Yuuta: Gh……
Ibara: This is what happens when you’ve bitten the wrong person. From now on, please carefully ascertain the capabilities of your opponent before choosing your prey, aHaHa♪
TL NOTES:
- Kuro used the word 暇 (Hima) here, which means ‘free time’, but it’s also used to mean several things, some of which, in the context of business, could mean ‘to be a slacker’ or ‘to not be doing anything’, which would explain the reason Ibara is offended at it.
- 毒味 (Dokumi) : lit; poison tasting, but it’s also used in the context of tasting the flavours of the food. A more normal way to say it would be something like 味見 (ajimi) which is food tasting but without the poison connotations.
- 末路 (motsuru): the last of one’s days, written with kanji for (end) and (path).
Prank Intersection Five
(Location: Meeting Room)
(Several hours later)
Yuuta: How frustrating~! That elated triumphant face of the Vice Prez’s! Even now it flits around in my head and makes me so mad~!
Arashi: Calm down. This time Yuuta-chan was the one who got everything ready, right?
In that case, Ibara-chan becoming aware of that and turning it around on you might be retributive justice(1)?
Kuro: If you say it’s retributive justice(1), it’s not like the consequences were directed at Aoi. It looks like Sengoku’s the one experiencing something painful.
Oi, are you okay, Sengoku? If you’re okay, you gotta give us a response.
Shinobu: ………
Kuro: It’s no good, his soul’s completely left him. Aoi, you gotta hold back a bit. How spicy was that thing you made him drink.
Yuuta: Sorry. I got a little carried away because it’s not what I think of as really spicy.
I’m really sorry to you too, Shinobu-kun. You willingly cooperated with the prank this time, but something like this happened instead…….
Kuro: Haah……for the time being, just line up these chairs, Aoi.
It’ll be more comfortable for Sengoku to lie down rather than me carrying him on my back all the time.
Yuuta: Okay……
Arashi: All things considered, I never thought that project would be a prank……
Kuro: Yeah. It’s surprising how little you notice until it happens to you.
Yuuta: No no, what are you saying! It’s weird for you two to say that you didn’t know it was a prank!
Arashi: Eh? What do you mean?
Yuuta: Because you guys were called as part of the prank weren’t you? Why do you not know anything even then?
Kuro: Even if you say it like that, we don’t know anything at all……
Rinne: Gyahahaha♪ Aren’t you putting on a pitiful looking face, Yuta.
Yuuta: …… Rinne-senpai. What’d you come here for?
Rinne: I came here to console a cute junior who majorly failed at pulling a prank.
Yuta’s embarrassed face as he came out while holding the prank was a huge success sign. Even remembering about it now makes me inevitably burst into laughter, gyahaha♪
Yuuta: So you hid to laugh when it looked like I’d fail. As always, you’ve got a terrible personality.
Rinne: Don’t be so angry. Yuta’s the one at fault for thinking you’d be able to get that Vice Prez Glasses-kun with that poorly planned (2) project, aren’t you?
Yuuta: Poorly planned, you say? But I’ve been putting in so much effort behind the scenes! I’ve been running around all over the place preparing for everything even when I don’t have many connections……
Rinne: About that, is it really just you doing all the prep alone, Yuta? There really isn’t anyone else involved in the planning?
Yuuta: That’s……. There were parts Anzu-san cooperated with.
That’s because it feels out of place to ask Vice Prez to join the fake project myself.
Rinne: First of all, that’s not good. At the very least, you gotta do it without asking for Anzu-chan’s help.
Yuuta: Wh-What?
Rinne: Anzu-chan is a producer who’s held in high regard even in ES.
Since the Vice Prez does producer work too, he’ll be even more aware of how high Anzu-chan’s ability is.
That Anzu-chan, bringing something like a taste tasting job that anyone can do to the overqualified Vice Prez.
This timing is suspicious at full blast ya’ know?
Yuuta: Uuuu…… Th-That’s kinda……
Rinne: Besides, wasn’t Anzu-chan the one who brought this prank project to the Vice Prez?
He’ll be suspicious when Anzu-san gives him such a questionable project in person so soon after talking about the prank project.
I’d be suspicious of Narushii and Dora-chan too, if I was in the same situation, ya’ know?
Arashi: Eh? Narushii is referring to me, right. Then, Dora-chan is….
Kuro: Where and how can Dora-chan be me……
Rinne: Ain’t it obvious? Ki“Ryu”(3), therefore Dora-chan♪
Yuuta: Even if I know where you got it from, in the end, Dora*mon still flashes through my head.
Kuro: Haah…… Then? You were talking about how Aoi’s project was suspicious or something.
Yuuta: You’re forcibly changing back the subject, huh.
Kuro: Well, just hearing about it, it feels like it might be suspicious.
Arashi: If it was me, I might have asked on the spot if it was a prank if I heard that.
Rinne: ――That’s how it is apparently, Yuta? Will ya say it’s not poorly planned even at this point?
Yuuta: Gh……
Rinne: When you know there’s a trap, it’s easy to deal with. Especially since you can say that the Vice Prez is a pro in that area.
There was enough leeway in the part of your plan that was put in motion beforehand to entrap you in it.
For the most part, isn’t Ninja-kun the only one that Yuta directly made a deal with?
That’s why your plan wasn’t precisely conveyed to Narushii and Dora-chan.
Yuuta: ………
Rinne: As a result, the two of them were turned around by the Vice Prez and they were unable to become Yuta’s allies and instead, became his to utilise.
Kuro: You mean to say that Saegusa can turn things around in an instant……
Arashi: How ominous…… I wonder if it was necessary to go that far.
Yuuta: ……… So in the end, I was being made to dance on top the Vice Prez’s palm.
Rinne: How about it, Yuta? What do you feel now that he’s turned it around on you? Heey, what do you feel?
Yuuta: …… Shut up. Please leave me alone.
You just find my face when I’m frustrated amusing, don’t you……
Rinne: Gyahaha! As I thought, you’re feelin’ frustrated. Now thaat’s what makes you Yuta♪
— What’ll you do I tell you that you’ve got another chance?
Yuuta: What? What do you mean by that?
Rinne: Oops, I can’t say anything more than that here. Well, just consider it to mean exactly as it sounds.
Yuuta: (It means exactly as it sounds? He means he’ll give me another chance to set up a prank?
Now that he’s mentioned it, Rinne-senpai was given the same job as I was didn’t he?
…… It couldn’t be.
Does Rinne-senpai mean that thing he talked about earlier, about pulling a prank together with him?)
Rinne: You can’t even bear to stomach this and silently cry yourself to sleep can you?
I gotta say, I’m busy. If you don’t answer me on the spot—
Yuuta: …… I’ve said this before. I can’t see any future where things will go well if we work together.
Rinne: If that’s the case, I guess it can’t be helped……
Yuuta: But, I can’t stomach letting the Vice Prez run away while he’s ahead like this.
…… That’s why, I’m going to be on board with your invitation, Rinne-senpai. ……
Rinne: Didn’t think you’d actually get on board with my invitation. Even though, unlike that time with ChocolatFes, Hina’s got nothing to do with this.
Actually, it feels like I’ve earned likeability from Yuta?
Yuuta: Please don’t say stupid things. I seriously don’t want to do it together with you.
It’s just that I won’t be able to rest easy if I don’t respond to what’s been done to me.
Rinne: Ain’t that nice. Thaat’s what makes you Yuta♪
Alright, now that’s decided, follow me. We’re gonna talk at some other place!
TL NOTES:
- Arashi and Kuro used a 4 character compound saying here; 因果応報 (ingaouhou). Originally a Buddhist concept; when people do good deeds, good will follow them and when people do bad deeds, bad things will follow them. However, nowadays, this saying is used negatively.
- He said the project was お粗末 (osomatsu) which also means rough and ill-prepared. This phrase can be used to be humble when entertaining a guest during meal times.
- The ‘Ryu’ in Kuro Kiryu is written with the kanji 龍 which refers to an eastern style dragon.
Prank Intersection Six
(Location: Café COCHI Meeting Space)
(An hour later)
Yuuta: Thanks. Sorry for the delay.
Rinne: Oh, you’re finally here Yuta. Even though you were only taking Ninja-kun back to the dorm, you were slow weren’t ya.
You were so slow I almost went to kill time playing pachinko.
Yuuta: I bought some gifts for Shinobu-kun as an apology and by the time I got there it was already around this time!
Actually, even though we’re chatting, why did we have to change the location?
Also, why are Kiryu-senpai and Narukami-senpai both here?
Kuro: Amagi-senpai forced us to come. After hearing that aforementioned story, it was pretty much compulsory participation.
Arashi: It’s not like we wanted to hear it though, y’know……?
Yuuta: …… Rinne-senpai, isn’t it a bad idea to forcefully involve others?
Rinne: If our prank gets exposed, then it’s over before it’s even started. Since they heard Yuta and I’s secret conversation, they have no choice but to get involved.
And you guys aren’t all that happy that the Vice Prez used you two in Yuta’s prank, aren’t’cha?
Kuro: That’s true. It ain’t exactly a good feeling to be forced to take part in a scheme without knowing it.
Arashi: Yuuta-chan…… I mean, you accidentally caused Shinobu-chan pain, didn’t you?
Yuuta: I’m truly sorry about that part.
Arashi: You don’t need to apologize to us. If you have to apologize, do it to Shinobu-chan♪
Kuro: Well, I don’t mind getting in on the prank this time. What exactly d’you want us to do, Amagi-senpai?
Rinne: Don’t worry, I’m not gonna make you do anything crazy.
I want Narushii and Dora-chan to keep an eye out for the Vice Prez’s movements and handle the behind-the-scenes stuff.
Arashi: I don’t really mind if it’s that sort of thing, but Ibara-chan is a CosPro idol, right?
So wouldn’t Yuuta-chan or Amagi-senpai be a better fit for the job since you’re both from CosPro?
Rinne: Yeah it’d be easier for us to do it, but that’s only for “within the ES building.”
Yuuta: That makes no sense. What’s your end goal here, Amagi-senpai?
Rinne: Alright alright, listen and be amazed! The prank I’m gonna pull on the Vice Prez is—
A classic among classics: a wake up prank!
Yuuta: …… It’s more straightforward and run of the mill than I thought it would be.
Kuro: Yeah. I thought if it’s Amagi-senpai doing it then he’d be pulling a more outlandish prank.
Arashi: I thought he would break all the windows in the dorm.
Rinne: What do you guys even think of me?
I thought Kita-san was the only one who thought of breaking all the windows.(1)
Why does everyone want to break windows, huuh? Are you guys stressed out or something?
Anyway, if you want to prank the Vice Prez then this sort of thing is perfect.
Yuuta: Why? I think if we pretend it’s a project, the Vice Prez won’t find out, but…
Rinne: And who exactly was it that tried that and got found out so quickly?
Yuuta: Uuu……
Rinne: As the Vice Prez, Glasses-kun will obviously be able to see what kind of work comes into the office.
And of course he’ll also look at the fake prank project plan. At that point, there’s a high chance of us getting caught.
Even if it was approved, we’d still have to lure out the Vice Prez with it.
You would have to make the project something that would make the cautious Vice Prez think there’s “merit” to showing up.
It’s already hard enough just to sneak in a fake project, but it’s a whole other thing to polish it into something that the Vice Prez himself would want to show up in, y’know?
It’s impossible given our position. The project would just wind up being sus as hell.
Kuro: I see. So you’re not just doing the wake up prank without puttin’ any thought into it.
Rinne: We’re dealing with the Vice Prez, y’know? If we discussed this in the wrong place, we’d be heard.
Arashi: Could that be the reason you changed the location for discussing this?
Rinne: The Vice Prez has his hands in the “Intelligence Bureau,” so he can watch as much security footage as he wants.
If you’re planning to do something nasty in ES, it’s not a surprise that it’s all being eavesdropped on.
All this to say, the ES building is the Vice Prez’s turf. It’s a bad idea to fight in someone else’s territory.
Yuuta: …… And then the “wake up” prank is?
Rinne: Oh. You’re finally getting it, Yuta?
If we’re going to pull a prank, it has to be somewhere where the Vice Prez can let his guard down to some extent, and where the surveillance isn’t as strict as in ES.
In other words, the Starmony dorms. The Vice Prez’s troops can’t get in there.
Also, none of the people rooming with the Vice Prez are from CosPro.
Even if we get things like getting a job in order, there shouldn’t be any problems. I want to ask Dora-chan and co. to get the stories set straight.
Kuro: So that’s what it is, huh. Surely if it’s that kind of thing, even we’ll be able to pull it off?
Rinne: Right? Sooo, the next thing up is how to wake the Vice Prez up.
What should we do? Should I wake him up with a cream pie to the face?
That would be the best way to wake up, gyahaha♪
Arashi: Absolutely not, you shouldn’t waste food!
Kuro: I’m also against it. The sheets’ll get dirty. Think of how the person who does the laundry will feel.
Rinne: So that’s what you’re worried about, you good kid……
Yuuta: ………
Rinne: Hm? What’s up, Yuta? You’re not gonna tell me you’re backing out now, are you?
Yuuta: I’m not going to do that. Once I’m on board with something, I’ll stay on board until I know it’s gonna sink.
Rinne: If you knew it was going to sink, would you get off?
Yuuta: I don’t want to share the same fate as you.
Rinne: The moment we got on the same ship, we shared the same fate! You all have already entrusted all your money to me.
When we die, let’s all sink together, gyahaha♪
Yuuta: In the first place you should be trying not to sink. Haah…… If a pie isn’t any good, how about a water balloon?
Rinne: Oh, ain’t that nice? Thank you for that idea!
Yuuta: ………
(…… If it’s Rinne-senpai’s plan, we might be able to outsmart the Vice Prez.
But is this really alright? Aren’t I just going along with his plan?
What I really wanted to do was…… My real purpose was……)
TL NOTES:
- Probably a reference to Hokuto’s Chill Yellow card story where he had the metal pipe?
Prank Intersection Seven
(Location: Starmony Dorm (Kaoru, Yuta, Nagisa’s Room))
Kaoru: I’m home~. Wait huh? The lights are off so is no one else here?
I heard that Ran-kun would be working starting in the evening, but I guess Yuuta-kun hasn’t come back yet either.
Speaking of, today was the prank filming day. Maybe it’s going long……
Well, whatever. If I’m gonna be alone in the room, I might as well relax.
(The lights turn on)
Yuuta: ………
Kaoru: Uwah, you scared me~! If you’re in the room, you should tell me, Yuuta-kun.
Yuuta: ………
Kaoru: …… Eh, what’s wrong? O~i, if you can hear me, I’d like you to respond.
You’re lying face down on the bed and not moving at all, so I’m a little bit worried too……
Yuuta: Uuuu~……
Kaoru: Ah, that’s a relief. You’re alive, after all.
Making that kind of moaning sound– is something wrong? Could it be that the prank filming went haywire?
Yuuta: ………
Kaoru: …… Ah. Did I actually guess right that it went wrong?
Yuuta: …… That’s right. It was a total flop. I’m so defeated that I can’t even say anything.
Aaah, I’m so pissed off in so many ways……
Kaoru: Ahaha, that’s rough, huh~. So that’s why you’re feeling all depressed.
Yuuta: …… I thought I had done pretty good with this too.
But the Vice Prez took control of the project and crushed me.
I understood the Vice Prez would be a tough opponent. He’s not someone I can just deceive for the fun of it……
But I never expected he’d deal with me so easily.
Kaoru: I see. Looking at the situation, it really seems like Saegusa-kun did a number on you.
Well, they say “if you curse someone, dig two graves.” If you’re gonna play a prank, you better be ready for some painful payback, right?
Yuuta: …… That might be true. However, I’m not going to let it end like this.
Kaoru: Hmmm? What do you mean by that?
Yuuta: I hate getting the short end of the stick, so that’s why I’ll be getting revenge on the Vice Prez.
Kaoru: Revenge, huh. Can you even do that sort of thing?
Yuuta: …… Honestly, I don’t want to owe that guy anything but I decided to ask Rinne-senpai to lend me his strength.
It seems like Rinne-senpai was also thinking of pranking the Vice Prez like I did.
Kaoru: …… Hmm, I gotcha. I never thought that you’d ask Amagi-san to lend a hand.
So that must be how frustrating it was for you. To deal with it, you’re prepared to team up with people you don’t like.
Ahaha, Yuuta-kun, your persistence scares me sometimes.
Yuuta: Calling it scary is an exaggeration, isn’t it……
Kaoru: No no, I’m not exaggerating. That persistence reminds me of the qualifying rounds for SS, y’know~
Remembering that time still gives me chills.
Yuuta: …… Are we really digging that story back up? You’re really an unpleasant person, Hakaze-senpai.
Kaoru: No no, don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining or anything.
I just meant that when you’re serious about tricking someone, you’re pretty merciless.
Yuuta: …… Even if you say that, it doesn’t clear up the mixed feelings at all.
Kaoru: Really? But you two really scared me at that time.
You’re twins, so you did everything possible to trick us. I could tell you were “serious” about it.
Surely, you’re just as skilled at being a strategist as that Saegusa-kun, I think.
Yuuta: …… Maybe, Hakaze-senpai— are you trying to encourage me with that?
Kaoru: More or less. Ahaha, I didn’t do very well at it, did I?
Yuuta: ………
(I’m saying that kind of nosiness makes me feel like a child no matter what I do, and it’s pissing me off.)
Kaoru: Fufu. You’re pissed at me right now, aren’t you, Yuuta-kun?
Yuuta: …… And what if I am?
Kaoru: …… I knew you would think so. That’s why I’m trying to be careful to not butt in too much.
But when I see a cute junior in trouble, I can’t help but want to call out to them.
After all, I want you two from 2wink to spend your time laughing♪
Yuuta: …… Haah. You’re saying things like that without any shame.
Ple~ase use those pick-up lines on Anzu-san instead of me.
Kaoru: Wh-Why is Anzu-chan’s name coming up there? Isn’t she irrelevant right now?
Yuuta: Ahaha, that side of Hakaze-senpai is like Aniki, so fun to tease~♪
Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. You cheered me up a little bit.
Kaoru: Really? Then I’m glad.
Yuuta: Yes. So please look forward to it and wait for my next prank on the show, Hakaze-senpai.
Kaoru: I’ll be sure to. But, I’m a little worried, y’know~
Yuuta: Worried? About what?
Kaoru: I just thought if things continued like this, you might wind up at Amagi-san’s beck and call.
Yuuta: That’s……
(…… Certainly, I feel like that might happen if things keep up like this. That’s what’s been bothering me the whole time.)
Kaoru: Well, since it’s Amagi-san’s prank, it’s only natural but……
Rather than doing something like “revenge,” I wanted you to leave your own trace behind on it.
A prank is all about the element of surprise. So it’s okay to be “serious” about it and go a bit wild♪
Yuuta: (…… I see. That’s right. “That” was my main reason for appearing on the show.)
…… Thank you very much, Hakaze-senpai. Thanks to you, I know exactly what I want to do.
Please look forward to it. I’ll show you what it’s like to be a “bad boy”♪
(Location: CosPro Offices)
(At the CosPro offices)
Ibara: —I see. So Rinne Amagi-shi is also targeting me for a prank.
He knew I had seen through Yuuta-kun’s prank, so I thought this might happen……
How troublesome. I never thought I’d be chosen as a prank target like this……
Haah…… It can’t be helped. This is also the result of my own carelessness.
Let’s give them a thorough education so they can’t even think of messing around like this.
However…… I never thought my informant would be “you”……
Alright, I’ll go along with your plan this time, Yuuta-kun.
Prank Intersection Eight
(Location: Starmony Apartment Hallway (2F))
(Early morning. Rinne Amagi’s prank filming day)
Rinne: Fuaaahfu…… Oi, Yuta…… What time is it?
Yuuta: About 4 o’clock. It’s still dark out, so it’s still the middle of the night.
Rinne: Seriously, it’s only natural that I’m tired…… Whose bright idea was it to do a wake up prank? They’re costing me my precious sleeping time.
Kuro: You’re the one who suggested it……
Yuuta: Yeah. Rinne-senpai’s the one who told us to meet at 4am.
And yet he was the last to arrive and he was late. Are you gonna have self-awareness about your work from now on?
I specifically asked Kiryu-senpai to be the photographer. Do you understand that?
Rinne: Don’t get so worked up, Yuta. If you speak too loudly, the Vice Prez might notice, won’t he?
Yuuta: And whose fault is that……
Rinne: Hm? Actually, Narushii hasn’t come yet, has she?
Kuro: Yeah. Narukami declined since lack of sleep would be bad for her skin.
We don’t need that many people for a little wake up prank anyway.
Rinne: True. But, Narushii is also missing out.
It’s a great opportunity to see the Vice Prez’s silly face. Right, Yuta?
Yuuta: You’re the only one happy about that, you know.
Rinne: Nah, the Yuta that pranked the Vice Prez is just like me!
The prank is a variety show where you make people look like idiots and then laugh at them♪
Yuuta: Haah…… It’s no use. Being with him just makes me stressed in the end.
Kiryu-senpai, let’s get this over with.
Kuro: Yeah. I also want to get a few more hours of sleep in. So, you all line up there.
Rinne: Alright, Yuta. Let’s link arms and get going. We’re fellow accomplices, after all♪
Yuuta: Nope. Stop yapping and get prepared.
Rinne: How cold. The dynamic duo is immediately at risk of breaking up……
Kuro: And let’s go. Three, two……
Rinne and Yuuta: “Good morning everyo~ne!”
Rinne: “Y’all in front of the TV, don’tcha know how late it is? It’s 4am.
There’s only one prank we could be pulling so early in the morning!”
Yuuta: “Yep! It’s the class wake-up pra~nk♪
Oh? Are you bored of watching simple wake-up pranks?”
Rinne: “As a matter of fact, our target ain’t some run of the mill idol.
What a surprise! The target this time is Ibara Saegusa of Eden.”
Yuuta: “When it comes to Saegusa-senpai, even within Eden his private life is especially shrouded in mystery.”
Rinne: “He’s in high demand as a talented CosPro idol. He’s a real super star!
He’s also the vice president of our office, so he might get peeved if we prank him but……
That doesn’t matter! Today I’ll be showing you the Vice Prez’s most private moment without any mercy: his sleeping face!”
Yuuta: “But it’s not interesting just charging in to wake him up, y’know~
So this time…… Ta da~♪ There’s the bonus of throwing a water balloon at Saegusa-senpai!”
Rinne: “It’s also washing his face, so it’s killing two birds with one stone. How about waking up with some nice cold water, gyahaha♪
Btdubs, besides me and Yuta, Dora-chan is also here as our photographer♪
Isn’t it extravagant to use an idol as the cameraman!?”
Kuro: “You’re the one who begged and forced me……”
Rinne: “My bad, my bad. Besides being the cameraman, Dora-chan helped out in a lot of other ways.
There’s other idols rooming with the Vice Prez, so he talked to them and got them to go to other places for today.
Well, none of ‘em are from CosPro so it would be hard for us to do the behind the scenes work. Rinne-kun also worked his hardest, y’know.”
Yuuta: “C’mon, don’t go on forever about the behind-the-scenes stuff. You’re getting too vivid about it.
Or rather, Rinne-senpai had absolutely nothing to do with it. Why are you acting like you did?”
Rinne: “That’s because I’m the one who came up with the project. Any success from it is also my success♪”
Yuuta: “Uwah…… you’re so irrational. Maybe I should jump ship after all.
Juuust kidding♪ Now, let’s end the introduction and go straight to Saegusa-senpai’s room, where he’s all tucked away!”
(Location: Starmony Dorm (Ibara, Mitsuru, Midori, Tsumugi’s Room))
Rinne and Yuuta: “(Whispering) Pardon the intrusio~n.”
Yuuta: “Uwah, it’s so dark~. Kiryu-senpai, please watch your step.”
Rinne: “If you were to fall loudly and wake him up, everything would be ruined.
So, where could our Hebi-chan be sleeping? Is it this bed? Or this bed? …… No, he’s over there.
Oioi, take a look at that bed, Yuta, Dora-chan. There’s someone sleeping in it wrapped up in a thick blanket.
I never thought the top idol Ibara Saegusa of Eden would be the type to sleep all snuggled up like that.
He’s surprisingly cute in some ways, isn’t he, Yuta♪”
Yuuta: “Yeah it’s actually kinda cute……
But this is no time for yapping. C’mon, Rinne-senpai!”
Rinne: “Let’s do it. Let’s get right to the main dish then.
—That’s why you’ve all gotta see it! The top idol, Ibara Saegusa’s, adorable sleeping face will finally be revealed!
Now, let’s get a peek! A happy morning’s come, ‘venomous snake’-kun♪
…… Wh- huh?”
Yuuta: “Is that a mannequin!? That’s not the Vice Prez at all, Rinne-senpai!”
Rinne: “OI OI OI, what the heck’s going on? You for real confirmed that Vice Prez was snoozin’ in his room, didn’t ya?”
Kuro: “Yeah. Actually, there’s been some strange noises for a while now.”
Yuuta: “Maybe…… The sound we heard was from the mannequin?
Eh, this……!?
IS THAT A BOMB!?”
Prank Intersection Nine
(Location: Starmony Dorm (Ibara, Mitsuru, Midori, Tsumugi’s Room))
Rinne: “HAH……!? A BOMB?”
Yuuta: “Yeah, take a good look at this! The numbers on the belt around the mannequin’s waist!
The number is decreasing from 300 as we speak! It’s obviously a bomb!
The Vice Prez got the better of us all over again!
Ahh, even though I teamed up with Rinne-senpai to get revenge, something like this still happened……!”
Rinne: “Well, it’s true that the Vice Prez duped us, but at least this bomb is a toy, y’know.
If it was a real bomb, it would blow up his own room, wouldn’t it?”
Yuuta: “P-Probably. But maybe it’s possible the power of it was reduced?”
Rinne: “Even if that’s the case, if it can produce a spark, it can create a fire. I can’t really think of it as anything but a toy to scare us with.”
Yuuta: “…… That’s also true, isn’t it.”
Yuuta and Kuro: ……… (They nod at each other)
Rinne: “Although, did the Vice Prez really think we’d panic over a toy like this?
There’s gotta be something up—
Wh-!? What– why did I hear a loud popping noise all of a sudden……”
Kuro: “My bad. Looks like I stepped on the balloon and popped it.”
Rinne: “What do you mean the sound of a balloon popping? Did Yuta drop a water balloon?
We were talking about bombs just a moment ago so it freaked me out a lil—”
Yuuta: “There we go. Rinne-senpai, you’re all secured~♪”
Rinne: “…… What.”
Yuuta: “Thanks a lot, Kiryu-senpai. Your balloon popping timing was nice~”
Kuro: “Yeah, it’s a relief you were able to grab Amagi-senpai’s attention so well.”
Rinne: “…… Oi oi, you guys. What’s the meaning of this?
I mean, Yuta, why’d you put handcuffs around my wrists?”
Yuuta: “It’s not just handcuffs. The bomb that was strapped to the mannequin a bit ago is now wrapped around your waist.”
Rinne: “That’s not an explanation! I mean, this turn of events, you didn’t actually……”
Yuuta: “Have you noticed? The truth is, I……
Teamed up with the Vice Prez and decided to prank you.
Da da-da~♪ The prank was a huge success!”
Rinne: “Are you serious!? So, the bomb strapped to me, are you being for real?”
Yuuta: “It’s real.
Earlier, you said the Vice Prez wouldn’t do something so stupid, but……
What would you say if I had gotten permission from the Vice Prez?”
Rinne: “Gyahaha. For a guy like you, you sure are doin’ some funny stuff huh……
And? This isn’t the end, is it?”
Yuuta: “As expected of Rinne-senpai. You’re pretty sharp~
The Vice Prez is in the courtyard and just so happens to have the key that defuses the bomb.
If you can catch the Vice Prez and get the key before your time runs out, maybe you can avoid the explosion?”
Rinne: (? Why are you letting venomous snake-chan deactivate it……)
“……! I see. You ‘guys’ thought through this well huhh……♪
Honestly, I underestimated you. But, I love a good plot twist too.
Gyahaha, I’ll also put my all into going along with your prank!”
(Location: Starmony Apartment Courtyard)
Ibara: Fufu. I’m elated you got snapped right up into the trap I set for you, Amagi-shi.
However, you’ve cost me some extra time and effort.
In the first place, I had no intention of participating in this prank. But what I hadn’t expected was for there to be so many people targeting me.
It’d be easy for me to say no, but then it would be a hassle to have to turn down similar offers over and over again.
With that being the case, it’d be better in the long run to snap back at them and make other idols and the industry realize that there’s no point in targeting me.
And in the meantime I’ll be able to get some good footage from the prank.
I can maximize my profits and organize my work at the same time. Now that is killing two birds with one stone, aHaHaHa☆
Yuuta: “You seem pretty proud, Vice Prez♪”
Ibara: “!? That voice is—”
(I feel something strange on my legs. Have they been restrained by something……?)
Yuuta: “It’d be troublesome if you ran away, so I cuffed your legs together♪
Ahaha. Your reaction is also great~. Narukami-senpai, did you completely capture the scene just now?”
Arashi: “Of course. Perfectly♪”
Ibara: “Narukami-shi, and Yuuta-kun? Why are the two of you here……!?
Especially you, Yuuta-kun. I could have sworn I confirmed you were in my room right now.”
Yuuta: “The person there now is actually Aniki in disguise.”
Ibara: “Hinata-kun……? But he was……”
Yuuta: “It’s true that he’s been working since this morning, but he still has some free time at this time.”
Ibara: “………”
Yuuta: “The biggest threat to you, Vice Prez, was if I were to betray you after teaming up with you.”
Ibara: “…… Indeed. When you contacted me, I also took that possibility into consideration.”
Yuuta: “So I had to make you believe that there’s no way I would ever betray you.
For that reason, I thought it’d be good to show the Vice Prez my appearance of working together with Rinne-senpai.
If I’m alone, the Vice Prez won’t be able to interfere while I’m pranking Rinne-senpai.
The truth is, I’m free because I used a disguised Aniki.”
Ibara: “…… So you took advantage of my preconceived notion that Hinata-kun couldn’t join in because of work.”
Yuuta: “You’d said that Hinata-kun couldn’t appear in the prank because of his schedule.
And, you must have had the impression that I’ve been focusing on solo activities lately.
I’d talked with you quite a bit so that I could do activities not tied to being a twin.
You subconsciously thought that since it was a personal job, I wouldn’t rely on him, didn’t you?
Fufu, it feels great to explain my evil deeds so triumphantly♪
Charge! Invade! Conquer~☆, I really understand why the Vice Prez enjoys reveling in self-satisfaction.”
Ibara: “…… Indeed, that’s true. I don’t intend to deny that.
But, it’s the worst feeling when my plans get ruined!
That’s enough. The prank was a success so let’s end this charade—”
Yuuta: “Nope nope, actually, the real prank hasn’t even started yet.”
Ibara: “There’s still something else……?”
Yuuta: “We’ve only just finished the set up. The real thing hasn’t happened yet.
Now, it’s about time for Rinne-senpai to arrive. That is to say, I’ll be handing this key to you.”
Ibara: “…… What’s this key?”
Yuuta: “At the moment, Rinne-senpai’s looking for you with a bomb tied to his waist. And I’ve told him you have the key to deactivate it.
—You know what’s next, don’t you, Vice Prez?”
Ibara: “So you’re saying I’ll fall victim to the bomb alongside Amagi-shi who’s come to deactivate it?
That’s a fake. It’s a joke item that does nothing even after the time runs out.”
Yuuta: “But it was Aniki who was holding onto the thing strapped to Rinne-senpai’s waist up until right before.
Can you really say Rinne-senpai’s wearing the item you prepared around his waist?”
Ibara: (There’s a possibility they’ve been swapped……! In that case, I can’t deny the possibility of an explosion.)
Rinne: “—I found ya, Hebi-chan♪”
Ibara: “Amagi-shi……!”
Prank Intersection Ten
(Location: Starmony Apartment Courtyard)
Ibara: “No, no, you’ve been through a lot too, Amagi-shi. You’ve had to run around ungracefully and such.”
Rinne: “Aren’t ya the same way, Hebi-chan.
Aren’t your hands and feet chained and makin’ you stumble? Gyahaha!
Welp, it’s not like we have the time for that kinda small talk!”
Yuuta: “That’s right. If you don’t hurry, the bomb might explode~”
Rinne: “The bomb on my waist could be stopped by the key Hebi-chan’s holding onto right? If that’s the case, hurry up and stop it already.”
Ibara: “No, no, I don’t have any key of that sort. That’s why I’m telling you to move away.”
(Beyond confirming whether the bomb is real or not, there is a possibility that if I were to release the lock, it might set off a trap.
Or should I say, releasing the lock would be dangerous because Yuuta-kun is leading towards that direction.
However, I cannot deny that the Yuuta-kun right now would be anticipating that I would be thinking that way.
That’s why at this point, it’s better to stay away from Amagi-shi until the time’s up)
Rinne: “Oi oi, don’t go lying. I’m a CosPro idol just like you right?
Even Rinne-kun’s gonna feel like crying in shock if you coldly throw him away…..
Thaaat’s why I’m not gonna move away from Hebi-chan so, please treat me well♪”
Ibara: (Gh…… Of course Amagi-shi would know about that and decide to do that!
So that’s why Yuuta-kun took away my legs! It would be difficult to escape from Amagi-shi like this……)
Rinne: “Look, there’s only 15 seconds left!
At this rate, we’ll all die together. Let’s fall into Hell together, Hebi-chan♪”
Ibara: “Please do not cling onto me. Keep me out of the shameful display.
It can’t be helped. I’ll release you…… because it’s still better than to look stupid doing nothing!”
Rinne and Ibara: “GYAAAAA!”
Yuuta: “Ta-da~♪ The prank was a huge success~!
The last prank was a zap of electricity~!
The moment the key is used, the mechanism releases an electric current to both parties. Were you surprised, my two Senpais?”
Rinne: “Can’t even joke about it…… That was way too intense.”
Ibara: “How humiliating. To think I would be at Yuuta-kun’s mercy like this……”
Hinata: “Seems the prank was a huge success, Yuuta-kun.”
Yuuta: “Aniki, you’ve changed your clothes already, I see.”
Hinata: “Everyone would be confused if I was in disguise for too long, you see.
My~, I didn’t think it would go this well.
You’ve been polishing your practical jokes skills, Yuuta-kun♪”
Yuuta: “If anything, I was at a loss because it wasn’t going well. ‘Cuz turning to Aniki for help was my last resort. ”
Hinata: “Last resort!? You don’t have to be so hesitant, My Brother!(1)
Onii-chan will always answer Yuuta-kun’s wequests(2) with all I have! I’ll even wake up early as many times as you’d like! ”
Yuuta: “That’s why I said it was my last resort. Aniki would do anything if I turned to him.
That said, you’ve been a real help this time. Thank you, Aniki♪”
Hinata: “………”
Yuuta: “…… What? Why are you suddenly making that blank face?”
Hinata: “It feels like it’s been a while since Yuuta-kun honestly said thanks to me!
One more time, Yuuta-kun! Say it one more time! I’ll record it with a voice recorder!”
Yuuta: “Aniki, my errand’s over so you can go to your job now. Thanks for helping~”
Hinata: “How cold! The change in temperature’s(3) gonna make me catch a cwold(2)……”
Yuuta: “And so, that was Aoi Yuuta’s Wake Up Zappy Prank~!”
(Location: Starmony Common Room)
(A number of days later. While watching the prank show in the common room.)
Kaoru: Ahaha! You two were completely fooled by Yuuta-kun’s prank~
The reception of Yuuta-kun’s prank by the people in the studio was good too.
Yuuta: That’s good. All the prep work was really difficult.
I had trouble figuring out how to do the betrayal without rousing Vice Prez’s suspicions in particular.
Kaoru: Up till the time Yuuta-kun revealed the prank, Saegusa-kun had a triumphant look on his face, didn’t he.
That feeling of hitting rock bottom was the sort of interesting thing the other pranks didn’t have.
Ibara: …… You really got me.
Rinne: Sure did. This time Yuta really showed you(4), Venomous Snake-kun.
Ibara: Please don’t treat me like we’re fellows who stood shoulder to shoulder. This time, I got carried away and had let my guard down too much, all by myself.
From now on, I would wait and see for favourable conditions before appearing in a variety show, even if it’s tedious.
Rinne: What’s with you, Hebi-chan, are you sulking because Yuta really got you?
Ibara: …… It’s because you caught me and made me watch a variety show I didn’t even want to watch.
Kaoru: Well, it won’t be fun to watch for the person who had a hard time because of the prank, huh.
Yuuta: The prank where I got pranked by Vice Prez is also being broadcast, so we’re even.
Now that you mention it, I can only think that that prank worked well because the two of you looked down on me.
Ibara: That’s because I deal with both you and Amagi-shi’s pranks in my spare time.
Rinne: You’ve made up your mind that me and Yuta have long since had our spirits broken, huuh.
Anywho, he said he’ll join hands with me ya know? The normal Yuta definitely wouldn’t have said that.
Yuuta: Hmph. I wouldn’t be able to survive in the idol industry if I could have my spirit broken by just that.
…… Nonetheless, it’s true that my spirit was broken, just a little.
Rinne: Heh. If that’s the case, there was a famous counselor who was able to put back that Yuta’s spirit together in such a short time, then.
Yuuta: That’s true. I was able to think about trying one more time because I had Hakaze-senpai’s words.
Kaoru: Eh, me? Did I say something so impressive?
image
Yuuta: See, wasn’t it you who said that I’m scary when I’m being serious?
Kaoru: Ah~, I did say something like that. But that was the impetus?
Yuuta: Vice Prez and Rinne-senpai. I have to give it my all to trick these two.
I have to use everything I have…… If I don’t “go all out”, I’ll fail.
That’s why I had to throw away everything, even my pride, so that I could arrive at the determination to turn to Aniki.
I’ll use anything that can be used, so that I could accumulate “Aoi Yuuta”s achievements for certain.
Kaoru: I see. If I was able to push you forwards a little, I’d be honoured, maybe.
Yuuta: Well, that’s also proof that I’m still too immature for it to be “just me”, so it’s a bit frustrating.
Ibara: …… Hmph. Immature, you say.
As one who was defeated by that immature person that is you, I wish you would be more elated at your triumph, you see.
Although I let my guard down, I still have confidence in myself that I will be able to deal with and defeat anything ordinary easily.
Even if I lacked Yuuta-kun’s provision of information, I would still be able to deal with Amagi-shi’s prank.
Rinne: Heeh~. Is that guy for real? Ain’t he just being a sore loser?
Ibara: You may take it however you’d like. In any case, the reality is that this time, Yuuta-kun had led me by the nose with his stratagem.
It was splendid. I can clearly see the height of 2wink’s Aoi Yuuta’s capabilities.
I’d like you to please wield those capabilities for CosPro from now on as well.
Yuuta: Ehehe, it’s kinda embarrassing to be told that by Vice Prez.
If that’s how you feel, from now on, please hand over the good jobs to me♪
Ibara: Yes yes. I’ll be preparing and giving you lots of jobs that would match your capabilities, Yuuta-kun……♪
TL NOTES:
- ’My brother’ in English, but written in katanaka as マイブラザー
- Yes he used baby talk here.
- What’s implied; as opposed to the warmth of sibling camaraderie a few lines before.
- 一杯食わされちまった: lit. made you drink a whole cup/mouthful : to trick, or outsmart someone.